Tuesday, April 12, 2011

How does Restoration look?

I shouldn't have asked. At least, I should have expected to get what I asked for. 

I was listening to SOS Radio and pondering the current drama with the 16 year old. The man on the radio said: "Don't let your current situation get you down, ask God what He want's you to learn from it". So I did. I said, "Lord, what on earth are you trying to teach me"?

Boy, I'll tell you what; God is FAITHFUL. This morning my husband came home for work, and although I had consumed the standard amount of the vine that should have kept me asleep until the alarm went off, I woke up and stayed awake.

He knows. The teenager was paying attention. And it bothers him. Oh, he didn't lovingly tell me, Mom, it bothers me that you drink every night and I'm worried about your health. Or even yell Mom!! You suck at being a mom!! No, he told his girlfriend, (whom I adore.) via text message. And left it for me to see.

Why doesn't any one say anything? Why is sin bearable when it's seemingly innocuous? Like, why does it only offend my husband when I pass out at 9:00 pm on Christmas Eve? Or on an evening when he's feeling amorous?? Why did I practically have to beg to be able to go to a recovery group meeting??

We just want it to go away. We don't want to have to deal with the messiness of sin. I know that the sin itself is forgiven, but how to deal with why's and the what-for's?

So what is God trying to teach me; I've got way to much support in my sin. And it's killing my relationship with my son. It's easier to judge others in our minds, love them to their face, and not do the messy work of restoration. What is this restoration????

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My blog; my thoughts. And I know that my thoughts are not His thoughts, my ways are not His ways. But, occasionally, I hear from Him : )